Here are 32 Encouraging New Mom Tips from a Mom of 4 *RAW and REAL* for you mama. These new mom tips are gathered from 8 years of being a mama and so much of it I wish I knew when I was a first time mom. These new mom tips will save you pain, time or money! And that fires me up for you that you are taking the time to learn NOW.
So here we go with 32 Encouraging New Mom Tips from a Mom of 4. And check out the video after you read the tips to see what mothering really looks like for me, because this video really has me being a mama in it.
What New Moms Should Know
Before I share this list of new mom tips, I think the thing that all moms should know is that motherhood is a beautiful, but challenging adventure. There will be many people who feel they have been a victim of motherhood or that motherhood was the death of their freedom, but I have found both to be untrue. Motherhood will change you, but it can be for the better.
I am so EXCITED for you and this journey you are on!
Ok lets jump into these new mom tips that will give you a jump start on the motherhood journey.
32 Encouraging New Mom Tips:
1. Coconut oil for everything (best diaper rash cream)
I am starting the first of the 32 new mom tips with a practical one. You do not need to buy all the fancy diaper creams. Coconut oil does the job. Coconut oil helps to heal wounds, protects skin from harmful bacteria and the medium-chain fatty acids found in coconut oil also possess antimicrobial properties.
Wipe the bottom good, dry off the bottom with a cloth and add some coconut oil if their bottom is irritated.
ALSO: Just make sure you wipe the baby really well. I messed up with this because I was changing my baby in a dark room and I wasn’t getting everything off him. This caused skin break down, poor thing! I just didn’t know any better until a friend who was a NICU nurse was changing him at our house and pointed it out.
I felt terrible, but I really could not see. Also, I wasn’t changing him fast enough after he pooped, so I had to learn to catch a dirty diaper faster to help his bottom.
2. Change brand of diapers and wipes if your baby keeps getting diaper rash
If your baby is still having a diaper rash one thing to think about is changing diaper brands. I have liked Honest Diapers, Hello Bello and the good priced ones from Thrive Market. Their diapers are worth a yearly membership alone and you can stock up on diapers with 40% off first order.
3. Get reusable breast pads to prevent milk from leaking through your shirt
You will just be sitting there and BOOM milk will start leaking from your shirt. This is where reusable breast pads are amazing. I had a couple of different brands, but my favorite were the bamboobies ones. These breast pads were the only ones that really didn’t feel wet on my chest. It is a yucky feeling to have cold, wet boobs, so I appreciated how these pads seem to keep me feeling more dry.
4. Get heart shaped bamboobies, they contour to fit without lumps in your bra
The bamboobies have two shapes, but I liked the heart shaped ones best. They contoured to fit inside my bra without weird lumps. The circle ones they sell are for sleeping and that makes more sense. I would just get a loose fitting nursing bra and slip these inside. I also used the bamboobies after I wasn’t nursing to thicken in a bra if I didn’t have enough coverage, so they are a good buy.
5. Take a week off from housework (and hosting) after you have your baby
My midwife tried to tell me to take a week off of housework and hosting after having a baby, but I just didn’t listen the first time. I thought that I was being strong, tough and super mama. Really though, I was being foolish. I didn’t know that my pelvic floor was sooo stretched out and that my body really needed to rest.
I didn’t know that I was slowing down the healing process by being up on my feet too much and there was a huge wound on the inside of me where the placenta had been attached. Inside I was showing my mom and sister around Los Angeles. I just didn’t want to miss any of the fun.
Every time I have a baby I take more and more time off, because I see that my midwife was right. The housework will be there for us in a week. It can wait, our healing shouldn’t have to. It is also a golden beautiful time with your baby, so soak it in and rest.
Finally, let me say that I think it takes real strength to allow someone to help us, but it is also how relationships grow stronger. So let people help and don’t steal their joy in serving you right now.
6. Add water
I have had some older wiser women tell me that if a day is tough ADD WATER. If your baby is just super fussy and is not calming down, a change of pace can be just making them a warm bath. This is also true as they grow older. Water play is soothing. Now I apply this by dragging out the sprinkler in the summer, heading to the pool or just letting them take a bath and play.
7. Keep basket of snacks where you feed baby
Producing milk for your baby is going to require lots of extra calories. And when you are all positioned to feed baby you might be hungry. So plan ahead and just keep some baskets of snacks stashed in all the spots you typically sit down to feed baby.
Some good snacks you can order online are Chomps and That’s It bars. They are both super good for you and if you pair them together they will keep your blood sugar good and stable.
8. Keep water where you feed baby too
You will have everything set up right to feed baby and not only will you be hungry, but WOW the thirst is real. It must be the brain signaling to the mom, “Hey, liquid is flowing out of your body, you need to add some liquid back!”
Undoubtedly, I would be hollering for some water (if anyone was around haha), so I started just stashing water all around the house so I could help myself and be prepared to sit and nurse. My husband started to joke that it looked like that alien movie Signs where they fight the aliens with a million water cups around the house hahaha, but I wasn’t about to be stuck under a baby and thirsty again.
9. Find a mom mentor
Take a moment and list the 3 women you would call if you had a newborn or parenting question and you needed trusted wisdom…
If you had trouble coming up with three, then it is time to start looking. Many people want data to help them and data can be helpful, but what we need more than data is relationships.
I named my website and YouTube channel Girl, Teach Me for this very reason. Women are relational by nature and we aren’t meant to do womanhood or motherhood alone. Getting real life help from a mom I admire has been LIFE-CHANGING for me!
If you want help finding a mentor, here is my How to Find a Mentor Guide.
You may not need more data, you may need relationships
10. Watch how mom mentor parents her kids
There is so much wonderful advice that I have gathered from my mom mentors over the years, but honestly I have learned just as much from being around their family, their home and watching them interact with those they love.
I see why Jesus lived with his disciples for those couple of years. They got to see how Jesus actually spoke to people, handled conflict, corrected, and loved. When I watch my mentor gently correct her kids, be playful and laugh with them or put them to work I am challenged by the fruit of her motherhood.
There have also been times in the past with mentors that I noticed things that seemed to work fine for their family, but I knew wouldn’t be great for mine. We are not trying to become their copies, but rather gather wisdom, encouragement and guidance for the road ahead.
If you would like some more help finding a mentor, I have a FREE guide for you.
11. Take a long break from sex to heal
Ok I know this may seem weird to talk about, but honestly it needs to be talked about. Birth is wondrous and beautiful, BUT your body needs to heal. The pelvic floor has been stretched out, our abs have split in pregnancy, our boobs are tender from breastfeeding and we are fully giving our bodies to our new baby.
Also, our bodies need to restore nutrition again before we can healthily take on a new pregnancy. Post-natal depletion is a real thing. Check out this book on Postnatal Depletion, I do not agree with everything in this book but the research was fascinating on how depleted we can become after pregnancy and birth, especially if we are not proactively restoring.
I think it is interesting that the Old Testament had couples wait 40 days after having a boy and 80 days after having a girl to have sex. I think this was a gift to the mother to heal and time for her to focus on bonding with her baby and learning how to become a new mother.
12. A newborn rash is usually normal
The first time I saw my baby boy’s newborn rash it was a week or two after he was born. It seemed to come from nowhere and I was sooo concerned because he seemed to have baby acne all over his body.
I thought it was a skin allergy, but since my first I have noticed that every one of my babies went through this newborn rash and that it cleared up within a week. There for a week they look a little rough, but slowly it clears up and they are back to being cute as ever.
13. Don’t share bad parts of your birth story with pregnant moms
First of all, if you had a tough birth, let me say I am sorry. I know that can be a lot to process and women can experience feelings of regret or even feelings of failure. I have so much more to say on this topic, because I believe that our stories can be helpful for others. Just be careful to not process hard parts of your birth story with a pregnant mama.
Your pregnant friends are trying to get their minds right for labor and scary stories can invoke unnecessary fears in their minds that can even play out into how they experience labor. So love your friends well and process your birth with a trusted mentor and friend who has children older and is not pregnant. This gives you space to talk and heal, without hurting friends that need our support and encouragement for pregnancy.
14. Tune of negative people/scary birth stories
I can vividly remember walking into Costco when I had just started to show with my first. The greeter said, “Is this your first?” I joyfully shared that it was! Then she said, “Good luck, motherhood is terrible.” I literally couldn’t believe what I was hearing. And I am generally too floored by people’s rudeness to have a witty response. Instead I just walked through Costco gathering my groceries feeling gloomy.
Now I know that I have to be the one to take control of my mind. I have to actively tune these comments out and realize that when people say things like this they are generally speaking from their pain. Victims and Villians in movies do the wrong thing with their pain. Victims sink down in helplessness, crying out for attention so someone will save them from their pain. Villains take their pain and then hurt others because they have been hurt. We all experience pain, the question is are we doing the right thing with our pain? (I talk more about what I mean by victim/villain in this video)
We all experience pain, the question is are we doing the right thing with our pain?
If that happened to me today (btw it does, now it is just comments about how many kids I have) I would just take that lie and layer it with truth. I know all good gifts are from above, that includes my baby and my opportunity to be a mother. Both are gifts! Then, I would pray for that woman and the pain she must have had to speak so negatively about motherhood.
The comments will never stop, so learning to tune these people out and certainly not keep them in your inner circle is wise.
If you are nervous about giving birth I have a course that teaches you how to overcome fear in labor so that you can replace the anxiety with peace and even reduce pain in labor. Tension in labor only creates more pain, so learning to go with the flow of what your body knows how to do along with your baby is key. So check out the Labor Without Fear Course page for more info and you use the code: NEWMOM as my gift to you for investing in your motherhood by reading this post.
15. Don’t share your pearls with the pigs
This goes along the same lines as number 14, but what I mean by this is that your dreams, desires and hopes are your pearls. Sharing these tinder little shoots of what could be with people who are prone to acting like victims or villains is going to lead to discouragement, wounds and feelings of inadequacy.
Instead work on getting those 3 women you can call up or go chat with over a warm cup of tea about these pearls. Precious pearls for me with my first was my birth plan, my hope to breastfeed and my dream to be a stay at home mom.
16. Share your dreams with trusted inner circle people
What dreams do you have for your pregnancy, birth, mothering style and how you will parent? Talk these over with trusted inner circle people. If you do not have inner circle women, take a moment and grab this FREE How to Find a Mentor Guide. I think it could help steer you in the right direction for finding these relationships that could be so life giving for you.
17. Swings are soothing 0-3 months
There is something called the 4th trimester. This is when baby is adjusting to life outside the womb. Baby was used to you walking around and this is what a baby swing is replicating-the movement of the womb. You can use a swing after those 3 months, but baby will begin to get restless as they get a bit older in the swing.
I used the swing to get a shower, do some dishes, start a load of laundry or just to give my back a break.
18. Swings are great to buy used or to borrow from a friend
I have had nice swings, hand me down swings and used marketplace swings. Honestly the ugliest ones worked best haha. I know that everything in our home feels like decor, so if aesthetics are important to you, search around online for a mamaroo or the maxi cosi cassia swing. But truthfully, used works just fine. The baby may have used it 100 days.
19. Baby stuff is used only a couple of months, buy used
Babies grow sooo fast. It is challenging to get them in every cute outfit before they have moved on to the next size. So consider buying used or even buying your friends hand-me-downs.
20. Splurge on things a couple of things you will love and keep
It is nice to splurge on a couple of things that are new, that I will get a lot of wear and tear out of or that I will use as a keepsake.
Here is my list of New Baby Favorites. If I had to buy anything new I would probably get the stroller, owlet, and docatot new (or you could just get a cute cover for a used docatot.
21. Fight dark days by learning new skills
You are going through a shift. It feels like the maiden is dying and the mother is being born, because it’s true. And yet the best version of you could be coming. You will need so many new skills as a mother, so instead of being overwhelmed by this fact, take the skills one by one and have fun learning. This way when baby is sleeping you can put your mind and hands to work on something you will be proud of in the years to come.
You can use this time at home to provide ways for you to stay at home as a mom. One of my favorite skills I have learned is blogging and video. But it can be as simple as needlework, making bread or learning a new style of exercise.
The best way to not lose yourself in this season, is to keep evolving and growing into the woman and mother you long to be.
If blogging and video is something you would like to learn here is the course I took to get started.
22. Have fun learning to cook
If I have learned one skill in motherhood that has been the most helpful and saved me the most money it is learning to cook. Like any good skill learned, it is learned little by little over time.
Here are some of my favorites cookbooks and people to learn from:
23. You will gain expertise over time
If you feel overwhelmed by all that you don’t know, breathe and remember this is a whole journey. You will feel like an expert over time and then you can reach back and help other new mamas. Instead of complaining of the sleepless nights or being a villain to your husband because it seems like he sleeps peacefully, turn to Jesus to carry this heavy load of motherhood.
There is purpose in every bit of discomfort you feel, God is not wasting this time in your character formation as a woman and a mother. Go with the flow like a river and don’t fight how life is changing. Embrace the newness and see the gift of all you are learning and how you are becoming a mother.
I love this quote by Elizabeth Elliot (one of my book mentors and whom I name my 4th child after (Sunny Elisabeth)
“A mother is a chalice, the vessel without which no human being has ever been born. She is created to be a life-bearer, cooperating with her husband and with God in the making of a child. What a solemn responsibility. What an unspeakable privilege—a vessel divinely prepared for the Master’s use.” -Elizabeth Elliot
24. Give yourself margin when you are getting out the door
Getting out the door is honestly just a trigger for me. It makes me angry probably like nothing else. I never want to appear that I am stealing another’s time. So giving yourself margin or extra time will help to reduce the stress.
If you need to be at an appointment by 9am work backwards. You need to get up, get yourself together, feed, change the baby, pack a bag for baby, maybe defrost the car, pack yourself snacks and water, and then maybe get gas. But then leave time for the blow out, the last minute feeding and just the fact that you could get stuck in traffic.
So this means you may have to wake up at 6:30 just to give yourself margin and extra time to get out the door with peace and not a rushed and frustrated spirit.
25. You don’t have to go anywhere-you have a new baby
Getting out the door is a kind of aerobic activity at first, so think of reducing that stress by just staying in for a couple of weeks. If someone is putting pressure on you to drive 6 hours to family Christmas, begin to work on the art of uncomfortable conversations and just say no if you want to.
Sometimes I think this means choosing to disappoint others if you have to, rather than feeling bitter about doing something you didn’t want to.
This is a golden honeymoon time with you and baby so enjoy it at home if you want.
26. Look up baby schedules for reference, but you don’t have to follow them to a T
Baby schedules can be a tricky topic in the mama world. I like to call these hot button topics mommy camps, because it seems like women can join a thought movement and then if an idea doesn’t fall completely in line with that thought camp, boom you get the wrath of thinking differently. Now let me say I have been guilty of this. I am passionate about natural birth, breastfeeding etc and you could label me crunchy for sure.
But I think there is wisdom in the ole southern saying: “eating the hay and spitting out the sticks.”
And this is what I try to do with baby schedules. I want the schedule to be a tool for me, but I refuse to be a slave to the schedule. With this in mind, I like to look up baby schedules for the age my baby is at, print it off and tape it to my cabinet. This just gives me an idea of what baby may need.
With my first child, I literally had no idea how many naps he might take, that he might be hungry or tired. Schedules ideas just help you learn the rhythm of a baby. But baby will also learn the rhythm of you and your family, so let the schedule serve you and not the other way around.
“eating the hay and spitting out the sticks.”
Favorite Ole Southern Saying When Gathering Wisdom
27. Give yourself and your body grace to heal from Postnatal Depletion
It takes 9-10 months to grow your baby, so giving yourself 9-12 months to see your body start to go back to a state that is more recognizable for you will take time. Even with that your hips had to open for baby’s head to come through, so your body may look different forever. This is the real beauty of mothering, we give our bodies for our babies. Breastfeeding will help your uterus go back into place and will help you lose baby weight most in the long run.
Instead of being the villain to yourself and talking harshly to yourself about your body that just was a vessel of life. Speak life over your body and how miraculous it is that you could grow and then nourish your baby. Your baby will grow into a little person who is listening to how you talk about yourself, so model speaking life even when it’s hard.
28. Freedom to say NO
One of the signs of a mature woman is the ability to have uncomfortable conversations. They do not have to be bad, but at first they may feel uncomfortable. The more and more you use the word, “No” the easier and easier it will get to say it. I think of it like a muscle you have to flex and strengthen, until FOMO is no longer dragging you around.
You may have to say no to certain people being in the room when you give birth, or to family Christmas with a newborn 6 hours away, or it could be that your mother in law wants to stay with you in the weeks after having baby, but she isn’t very helpful at times.
Everyone’s situation is different, if you feel the need to say no, I hope that you will just charge ahead with love for what is best for you and baby right now and flex the no.
If you need help with this, I enjoy listening to the John Delony Show. I have learned a lot about setting Biblical loving boundaries and not feeling bad about.
29. Treat newborn phase as a honeymoon period to stay home if you want
This is a time when you literally might need to be topless around the house. You are learning to breastfeed, your boobs might be tender and you are going to be tired. Keeping your home a place of peace and getting into a rhythm is so important to gaining confidence early on in motherhood. So feel free to say, hey we are staying in for 2-3 weeks. I even think this is ok with church. We put so much pressure on ourselves, but in many other cultures around the world they take months to stay home and recover.
I get that the pendulum can swing too far to the other direction and people give up going to church all together, stop hanging out with friends and live and die by the schedule. This isn’t helpful either.
Just finding some space to retreat from the pressures and schedules of the world can be so valuable to enjoying this season.
30. This is a whole new career, you are a novice, but you won’t be long.
Think of starting a career in a field totally foreign to you. For some this would be like becoming a computer programmer. Now some women started early by babysitting or being a nanny after school. But for many of us, we had never really changed a diaper before, let alone sat and watched a woman breastfeed.
Mothering can all feel so private, so here I am again saying that if you can get a woman mentor, you will gain expertise in this new career much faster than a woman who is flying solo. A mentor can save you so much pain, time and money by simply sharing her experience and what she has learned along the way.
Look at you though, if you have read this post to this point you are already on your way to gain some knowledge that will be helpful for the journey.
When feelings of failure and inadequacy come be ready to say this to yourself and to God:
“I am a new mama, I am learning little by little. Help me God know what to do next.”
“I can be faithful to God and to caring for this baby one step at a time. Help me God to learn and grow in this new role as a mama.”
31. Breastfeeding is a learning curve
I can’t say this enough. Breastfeeding can BEAUTIFUL and challenging. It is a new skill you are going to have to learn. Getting a good lactation consultant will be worth their weight in gold. Now not all consultants are great, so ask around. Some consultants just throw you a nipple shield and call it a day.
Get help from someone who is going to look at baby’s mouth, put her hands on you to help you get the right positioning and encourage you to keep going.
A lot of women take birth classes, but one of the best things Matt and I did was to take a breastfeeding class together. He was such a better supporter for me this way.
Here are my favorite resources to help you:
- My Brest Friend Pillow– really saves your baby and brings baby up to a better position for feeding
- Ina May’s Guide to Breastfeeding
- The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding is AMAZING and helps you troubleshoot for your whole journey
- Bamboobies Nursing Pads
- Hand pump just to get lumps out-make sure to rub out knots asap with a warm rag to prevent mastitis, but honestly these books walk you through what to do in almost every situation.
32. Milk can take a day or two to come in (baby’s stomach is the size of a marble)
This is one fact that I learned in my breastfeeding class before I had my first. She showed us a diagram of what size baby’s stomach is at each age. It is mind blowing. There is no way a baby should be drinking 3 oz when they are first born, because their stomach is the size of a marble. Also, colostrum which is the first milk you will produce is so WILDLY nutritious and helps to coat and protect the gut lining of your newborn that protects them for years to come.
Dig deeper into baby’s stomach size and how vital colostrum is and you will see why it is ok to wait for your milk to come in. I think a lot of people panic and opt for formula, but if you can educate yourself now and get a trusted lactation consultant on board your chances of a successful breastfeeding journey sky rocket.
Can you tell I am a tiny bit passionate about that topic haha.
Video for 32 Encouraging New Mama Tips:
Tell Me Your Top New Mom Tips Below:
Finally, I would love to hear your top new mom tips and tricks below. What resources have been the most helpful to you on this journey. Tell me below in the comments section.
And make sure to share this post with another friend that you know would love to start learning as she prepares to be a new mama. Sharing is caring!
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