I never would have dreamed that I would do home births, I was terrified of birth!
In this post, I am sharing how all of this changed for me and how home birth labor was a BIG part of that.
I am breaking down common questions and concerns I hear about home birth and hopefully help you understand why home birth is a great, safe option for a healthy pregnancy.
If you are curious about home birth benefits, planning a home birth, or skeptical about home birth, this blog is for you.
I am a mom of 6: I had my first baby in a birth center and my other 5 babies at home. Each time, it was such a beautiful process and I would not want to give birth anywhere other than my home.
Where women choose to give birth is a big deal, here is why I chose to labor and bring my baby into this world at my home:
My Backstory
Growing up, I was pretty afraid of birth. I saw it as something that women just have to get through, everything I saw in the movies was horrible and rushed like an emergency.
This started to change when I took a class in college called “Maternal Childhood Nutrition”. This class was so transformational to me – she opened my eyes to the wonders of breastfeeding and the normalcy of birth.
After watching The Business of Being Born, it changed my whole mindset around birth. I remember being so afraid to watch the birth, holding the blanket up to my eyes in fear. But then I ended up crying in awe of the wonder and beauty of birth.
From that moment on, I knew I wanted my birth to be different from the births I was seeing in movies. I dove into a rabbit hole of reading and learning about birth.
My First Birth
There was a SIGNIFICANT difference in care between the midwife and OBGYN
When I got pregnant with my first baby, a friend recommended a birth center about 45 minutes away. I came to each midwife appointment with a list of a million questions about birth.
With my midwife, I had an entire hour of her attention at each appointment. But when I saw an OBGYN, a requirement where I was living at the time, I only had a couple minutes with a nurse practitioner and I left feeling like I did not get any education.
The birth center was not very different from giving birth at home
After that birth center birth, I realized that I was just driving 45 minutes to give birth in a place that wasn’t that much different than my home.
The birth center looked like an Airbnb and all the equipment that they would bring to a homebirth was there.
I learned that it was hard to get in the car and drive 45 minutes in active labor. It was even harder when I got sent home because I wasn’t far enough along, so I had to get back in the car multiple times.
Then 3 hours after giving birth, I had to get in the car and drive home with a brand new baby. That was not ideal.
My First Home Birth
My first home birth (2nd baby) didn’t even happen in my own home. We were living in someone’s guest house at the time.
It was SO NICE giving birth in my environment and crawling right into my bed with my new baby and going to sleep.
Labor was more effective when I was comfortable
Labor also went way quicker when I didn’t have to get into a car and go anywhere. It felt like home and it felt safe.
There is a concoction of hormones that have to come together for a woman to go into labor. My midwife says that it really helps labor when a woman does not have an audience and is in a safe place. Bonus points if the space is dark.
Women need to be able to focus on what they’re doing with minimal interruptions from people coming in and out. Labor isn’t necessarily something we want to drag on longer than it has to… so being in a space where you feel safe will help your body open up and move labor along quicker.
Our bodies know what to do and our babies know what to do. But our bodies can get tripped up when it doesn’t get signals that it is safe.
We see this with animals – animals get away by themselves in a dark place to have their babies.
It’s important that we choose a place that will make us feel safe. For some women, a hospital feels safe to them. For me, a hospital feels like a place to go when there’s an emergency or someone’s really sick.
Thankfully, I have never been high risk, so it has been safe for me to have my babies at home.
It is SO important to have a good birth team if you are having your baby at home
If you have any reservations about any member on your birth team, it’s important to get those resolved so that your brain and body feel safe.
At home, I can ignore labor until I can’t ignore it any longer
I love that I can go about doing house work as long as I can when laboring at home. Homemaking in labor helps me think about other things instead of labor.
Amish women do this: when they believe labor is beginning, they start making bread because it keeps them busy on their feet.
Labor does not require all of our attention until the end when it forces us to give it all of our attention. That is a mistake I made in my first birth.
In my first birth, labor started and we went to the birth center right away. We got sent home and things took much longer because I just wasn’t ready.
I want to ignore labor as long as I can until it demands all of my attention. Once it is demanding all of my attention, I get in the shower and let the water hit my back, retreat to my room, turn on worship music, and light some candles.
At home, we can let our bodies do what they need to do
Let’s say you had a bit of labor and then it slows down. If you stay at home, you aren’t stuck at the hospital on their timeline. If you’re at home, you can get a good night’s rest and labor will likely pick back up in the morning, whereas if you were at a hospital, you may be induced, forcing your body to do something it isn’t ready for.
I’m Undisturbed After Birth
After I have my baby, I crawl into a clean, cozy bed with my baby
Once I have my baby, my midwife tidies everything up and changes my sheets. After they’ve checked out the baby and the baby breastfeeds, the midwife leaves.
Immediate rest and bonding between mama and baby
The first stretch of sleep the baby has after birth is pretty long, about 3-5 hours, because they are exhausted from labor. This time is crucial for mama to rest after labor before the many nights of around the clock feedings.
Being home for this stretch is so much better in my opinion than being at the hospital where nurses are constantly coming in to do checks and separating mom and baby.
I know that there are hospital protocols and sometimes it calls for it, but the amount of separation (for sometimes unnecessary reasons) that happens in the hospital is absolutely heartbreaking. Baby needs mama. They need to be on the boob, they need your germs, they need your comfort… they need you, you are their environment.
I like to set myself up in a situation where the likelihood of me being separated from my baby is way down.
Getting the Right Team Makes All the Difference
Trusting my midwife also helps labor progress because it’s not a random provider walking in the door. She is really checking in on me in the prenatal appointments. After hour and a half appointments every month where I pick her brain and she is working to help me have a healthy pregnancy, I can really trust her.
Getting good prenatal care really helps you avoid high-risk situations
It doesn’t eliminate risk, but it helps you avoid it because a healthy pregnancy leads to a healthy birth. If we don’t have someone who is really checking in on us, educating us, and walking us through pregnancy, then the likelihood of complications goes up.
Having a healthy home birth goes hand in hand with having a really good midwife
My seasoned midwives make me feel mothered while I’m giving birth. I don’t want her there the entire time I’m laboring. I only want her to come in when I really need her. She is waiting until I am in pretty active labor to come to my home.
While laboring, I keep in touch with her and she can usually tell where I am at based on my voice and my breathing.
You get to choose your birth team!
What I’ve seen many women struggle with is feeling like they are helpless to the care provider that they have been given. But it is an interview process! It is a business like any other one.
If you want a certain birth, it is important that when choosing birth workers, the birth you want is their standard. You do not want to be the exception to their regular process, you want your birth desires to be what is normal to them.
Home Birth is Generally Way Less Expensive
Insurance may not cover homebirths, but it won’t cover the entire hospital birth either, especially if there are multiple interventions.
I get better prenatal care with a CPM midwife, my prenatal care and birth are lumped in one cost, and they are much less expensive.
Home Birth is a Stretch for Many Women
My husband is very medical minded and a homebirth was too much of a stretch for him at first. He really wanted me to start with a birth center because it made him more comfortable.
There are going to be skeptics
“What if this goes wrong?” “What if that goes wrong?”
That’s really where I lean into the wisdom of my midwife. I try to find very seasoned midwives. I want someone who I trust enough to if she said “Lana, it’s time to transfer”, I would not second guess, I would just do it.
Birth is Personal
I would never dream of telling another mom what she should hope for in her birth because it is such a personal decision. But I think it is not wise to make decisions out of fear and “what ifs”.
It IS our job to prepare as best we can and hire the best team we can.
So, why not?
Why do we think that it couldn’t be us? Birth is wild and things happen. But sometimes we self sabotage. And to that, I ask, why not?
If you got the right care provider on board and got the right education, maybe your whole birth experience could be different.
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MORE RESOURCES FOR YOU:
Unmedicated Birth: 4 Secrets You Need to Know When Preparing for Natural Labor
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Labor Without Fear Birth Course