When I was 17, I came to a realization that I cannot live this life on my own because striving in my own strength was not getting me anywhere!
Trying to live rightly without the power of the Holy Spirit to help me was impossible. I knew I needed Jesus to save me.
Today, I am sharing 9 things that have changed for me since I have become a Christian. Maybe this will spark thoughts in your mind about your life and how you may want things to change for you as well.
I am still a work in progress, but I can confidently tell you that life is so much sweeter living with Jesus.
1. BE EASILY OFFENDED
When I think about my life before Christ, I was very offended by the way people looked at me or any subtle comment someone made. I would dramatize everything and was very easily offended.
BEING UNOFFENDABLE TRANSFORMED MY RELATIONSHIPS
Before, I would get offended by everything. People felt like they had to walk on eggshells around me and they would make their decisions so that I wouldn’t get mad. That’s a terrible place to be!
IT STEMMED FROM MY PRIDE
I thought a lot of myself and I did not choose to believe the best in people, so I got offended very easily.
When I chose to stop being offended by every little thing, it transformed my friendships. I wasn’t picking everything apart anymore. Instead, I would choose to believe the best.
GETTING OFFENDED KEEPS THE FOCUS ON MYSELF
One Sunday, my pastor said, “As Christians, we should strive to be as unoffendable as possible. By taking offense, we are focusing on ourselves rather than paying attention to the other person.”
When my husband and I lived in LA, the traffic was terrible and he would get frustrated with how aggressively people drove. I told him that I didn’t think other people were cutting him off to be rude. Instead, I think traffic is chaotic and people are thinking about themselves and trying to get home.
I don’t think people are trying to offend us, I think they are just thinking about themselves. This is human nature!
JESUS WAS UNOFFENDABLE
When Jesus was on the cross, He said “Lord forgive them, for they know not what they do”. People were trying to offend him. But Jesus could see that their offense was coming from a place of deep hurt or misunderstanding.
HURT PEOPLE HURT PEOPLE
I try to teach my kids that hurt people hurt people. If someone is intentionally trying to offend, they are probably in a lot of pain. So there is no use in getting offended.
2. GOSSIP
Gossip killed so many relationships in my life.
Even as a Christian, gossip is tempting.
WE DISGUISE GOSSIP AS SOMETHING GOOD
If someone is telling you something about someone else that you cannot do anything about, that is gossip. Women do this a lot, sometimes unknowingly, disguising it as a prayer request.
It can feel good when you are in the know enough to spread privy information. But just like how you can’t stuff feathers back into a pillow once they’ve come out, a person cannot unknow the gossip about someone else once it’s been shared.
GOSSIP DESTROYS RELATIONSHIPS
Once I became a Christian, I realized that gossip really hurts people. And people couldn’t trust me the same after they saw my gossip.
The Proverbs are full of verses on gossip.
Proverbs 11:13: Gossip goes around revealing secrets. But a trustworthy person keeps a confidence.”
I really wanted to be a safe place for people, but I couldn’t be a safe place for people if I was going to reveal confidence.
Gossip destroys trust and it destroys relationships.
Although it may make the flesh feel good in the moment, studies show that the people with the strongest relationships are the happiest people.
3. WORKING TO PLEASE MAN VS WORKING TO PLEASE THE LORD
Being a people pleaser is engrained deep within me.
When I quit my job to stay home with my first baby, there was a paradigm shift where I started to work to please my husband. But he couldn’t see everything that I was doing so I never felt satisfied.
It wasn’t until I shifted my perspective to see that the Lord sees all the work I do all day long and I am working to please Him that I finally felt satisfied.
4. BEING AS BUSY AS POSSIBLE
I felt like productivity gave me worth. Have a full calendar made me feel important.
When I instead look at the life of Jesus, He had margin. He put people before any checklist, He always had time for them even if it pushed something else important back.
I NEEDED TO TAKE A SABBATH EVERY WEEK
I needed a day when I would pause from even house work.
Even when I was in college, I was very intentional in trying to take a day off of studying.
I would fill my Sabbaths with things that refill me, like being outside with friends or going to a coffee shop with my Bible.
Culture says we need to grind, grind, grind. And yes, the Bible says that we will reap what we sow, so we need to be intentional with our time.
But having margin and a weekly Sabbath is essential in how we are made. This is challenging with small kids, here is a blog post on how I do this.
5. WASTE RESOURCES
As I grew in the Lord, I realized that everything I have is the Lord’s.
My physical health, my time, my relationships, my money, my family… everything that I have is the Lord’s.
I AM A STEWARD OF THE LORD’S RESOURCES
I started to feel a healthy weight on my shoulders as I realized I am called to steward all of these things for the Lord.
Steward: You are responsible for taking care of something on behalf of someone else.
- This changes the way I looked at tithing 10% of my income to the church.
It is easier to give when I realize that 100% of what I have is the Lord’s and I am just giving back 10% to go towards the mission of the Kingdom.
- Even my children are His. It is my job to bring them up in the fear and admonition of the Lord. It changes the way I parent when I think about the fact that they are not mine, they are His.
6. THINK ONLY OF MYSELF
I was SUCH a selfish person before I came to Christ and I still struggle with selfishness.
I used to think that everyone around me was here to serve my purposes and to make me happy. In softball as a pitcher, I acted like everyone was backing me up to get “my outs”. Then I would wonder why people felt hurt by me and why I didn’t have close relationships.
THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A VICTIM, VILLAIN, AND A HERO
I used to act like a villain.
Each of these three people (the victim, villain, and hero) all have pain, they just choose to do something different with it.
- The Victim: The victim lays down in their pain feeling helpless and waiting for someone to save them.
- The Villain: The villain rises up in their pain and does the wrong thing with it. In the movies, the villain always lashes out from their pain and causes others pain until they are eliminated.
- The Hero: The hero decides to take their pain and goes on a good mission for the sake of keeping other people from experiencing the same pain.
TO HAVE PEACE, WE MUST THINK OF OTHERS
A verse I have hanging in my home says: “Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.” Philippians 2:4
I am constantly trying to teach my kids that if we are going to all live together in this home in peace, we cannot only be thinking about our own needs, we need to be thinking about the needs of our brothers and sisters as well.
Naturally, we are going to look to the interest of ourselves. But with the grace of God, we are able to look to the interest of others.
In this life, people are the mission. They are not here to serve my purpose. I am here to serve the Lord’s purpose, and that is to love and serve others.
7. OBSESS OVER MY BODY
I don’t want to say that I had an eating disorder, but I was obsessed with counting calories, working out excessively, and binge eating as a coping mechanism.
I am no longer idolizing my body or thinking about how good I can look in certain outfits.
Now when I see my body, I remember that it is the Lord’s and I need to steward it.
I have more self respect and ensure that I am taking care of my body by fueling it well, exercising consistently, and getting good sleep.
8. ALLOW MYSELF TO SEE OR HEAR ANYTHING
I used to not be phased by the things I watched or listened to.
But I have learned that whatever we hear and see comes into our heart and comes out of our mouths.
I was putting sewage into my mind and then was surprised when it came out of me.
There’s no way that the things I am feeding myself aren’t impacting my life. So I have gotten very serious about avoiding things that do not positively impact me.
9. SUBSCRIBE TO THE TOXIC FEMINISM
Feminism today preaches the narrative that men are our greatest problem, we are being oppressed by men, and babies are burdens.
I do not believe that narrative AT ALL.
I believe God made man in His image like the Bible says.
There is some oppression and over sexualization of women by men and this is sin.
But men in and of themselves are not the enemy. I have sons, and they are not the enemy.
If anything, we are oppressing men by how much we put them down in our culture today.
We need to be helping men rise up and become all that they can be. Part of what they’re made to do is take care of women.
I believe that this toxic feminism is keeping women in chains of believing that the highest form of success is to try to be like a man. God made women uniquely different from men on purpose. Every creature delights in what it is except for women.
We need to try to tap into what it means to be feminine and see how beautiful it is to thrive and delight in the way God created us.
If you want to dig deeper on this topic here is a book that is soooo GOOD!
THESE THINGS DID NOT HAPPEN OVERNIGHT
There are three types of sanctification:
- Immediately when we give our lives to Christ, we are sealed with Him.
- When we get to Heaven, we are fully and completely made new.
- In between being saved and going to Heaven, we are little by little, slowly throwing off the flesh each day as the Holy Spirit makes us more like Jesus
These changes did not happen overnight. These are things that happened gradually and I continue to chip away as with the help of the Holy Spirit.
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