Have you ever noticed that your choices have created stress in your life and in your home?
One day, I noticed that my lack of discipline was hurting my home, my marriage, and my relationships. Being disciplined does NOT come naturally to me. If you talked to my mom about what it was like to raise teenage Lana, you would know what I mean!
But choosing to push against myself each day has helped my family, my home, and my marriage. It is possible to be less stressed and for your family and your home feel calmer. That is what I have been working towards, and I bet you would like that too.
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It is possible to become more disciplined and consistent, even as a mom. But growing in discipline and consistency does not require what I thought it did. It doesn’t necessarily require an earlier alarm, a perfectly mapped out planner, or hard and intense workouts daily.
Although those things may be helpful, I needed to start deeper, I needed to start with my mindset. Leveling up in the way I think has totally changed my whole life and I think it can do the same for you.
I had to decide: Was I going to step up to be more disciplined and consistent for the betterment of my family? Or Was I going to continue to give into my desire to do whatever I felt like in the moment?
Taking full ownership of how my life goes has been the greatest shift in personal self discipline.
There is no one to blame, but myself, but this is where the freedom begins. If there is no one to blame, but myself that is perfect. I can’t change anyone, but myself!
Here are 7 powerful shifts I have made to begin growing in self-discipline as a woman and as a mother that will transform your life if you choose to do them with me:
1. WHAT WE THINK ABOUT CHANGES HOW WE LIVE
God has made our minds so incredible. We can either choose to think in a way that makes our life better or we can spiral with all the negative thoughts.
One way I was messed up with my thinking was knowing the next right thing to do, but putting it off until another time.
Procrastination is the number one enemy of living the life we want to live. Procrastination is pushing off until tomorrow what ought to be done today.
Discipline is saying “I can do a doable portion of the next right thing”.
I might not have the time or the energy in the moment to do all of the dishes or tackle all of the laundry, but I can do a little bit. Sometimes I can have an “all or nothing” type of thinking and it holds me back from doing anything at all.
Instead, when I make the choice to do a doable portion of the next right thing, I feel less overwhelmed and the home becomes a much more peaceful place.
2. USE THE DISCIPLINE MUSCLE
Building small disciplines in one area is one of the best ways to build discipline in other areas.
Saying no to ourselves in one area, grows our ability to say no to ourselves in other areas that may be more impactful. Discipline is a muscle that needs to be worked and grown.
This muscle can be worked with a lot of different choices that we make and they all either affect each other for the better or for the worse: food choices, the choice to move our bodies, trying to put the kitchen to bed rather than leaving it a disaster at night, choosing intimacy with our husbands, or opening the Word.
My kids are the ones who suffer the most when I am not disciplined.
One of the most loving things I can do for my family is choose discipline.
3. BECOME THE KIND OF PERSON THAT YOU RESPECT
We watch ourselves. When no one is around, I see and I know when I am not stepping into what I am most capable of. It creates a dissonance in us when we know what we are capable of, we know the mom and the wife that we could be, but then we see all of our personal choices that are not aligning with that.
They say the greatest kind of unhappiness is self unhappiness.
I really think this is true! When I let myself go in a million little ways, I feel helpless. When I am living with discipline and purpose, I am proud of who I am becoming.
4. LOOK FOR PROGRESS
It is so exciting and motivating when we can see ourselves taking steps toward the person we want to be and toward the life we want to live.
When we see progress, we feel stronger!
It’s not that we have to make it to some final destination, but what most of us are craving is to see progress from ourselves as we take steps in the direction of building the life we want to live, becoming the mother we want to be, and creating the marriage we want to have.
The “tiny” choices we make will snowball into bigger disciplines. Something as simple as making my bed in the morning can jumpstart me into making more intentional choices throughout the day that then breathe life into my home.
5. BELIEVE THAT YOU CAN BECOME DISCIPLINED
In the book Atomic Habits, James Clear says that the simple practice of going to the gym daily helps people believe that they are the kind of person who works out and is healthy – seeing ourselves take tiny steps toward the person we want to be starts to shift our identity!
What holds us back is the self sabotaging belief that things cannot get better. But if I label myself as someone who is not disciplined, I will hold myself back from being able to change and grow!
6. YOU HAVE THE POWER TO CHOOSE
We can choose to do what is right and choose to not do what is wrong. I can choose to take a deep breath and not explode when the kids do something bad. Just because I used to be an angry mom, doesn’t mean I can’t change to be a calm, peaceful mom in the future.
We are not helpless to our personalities, we are not helpless to how we were raised, we are not helpless to all the outside circumstances that we cannot change.
I can shift my perspective and I can make the right choice moving forward.
This is what changed everything for me.
7. DO NOT WAIT ON ANYTHING TO CHANGE
I do not have to wait on anything outside of myself to change in order for me to change. I do not have to wait on any human person to come save me.
Taking full ownership of how my life goes has been the greatest shift in having self discipline. If my life is not going the way that I want, it is my fault! I am eating the fruit of bad seeds I have sown in the past. The Bible says that when we sow good seed, we will reap a good harvest later.
Little by little, choice by choice, things can change. So do not overlook these mindset shifts. They can be just what we need to begin being the women we want to be. I hope you will join me.
If you want to see your life change this year, come checkout a list of 64 books that have transformed my motherhood.
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