I have so much hope for the toy clutter that may be happening in your house!
With 6 children, I GET the toy overwhelm situation. I know that it is possible to overcome toy overwhelm with kids still being kids.
I used to be overwhelmed by toys.
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Today, I want to share ways that I got my home back and got my sanity back all while still giving my kids toys!
There are two extremes that I don’t believe we have to live in:
- Don’t let kids have any toys
- Let kids have all the toys possible
I believe that it is my job as someone with a developed brain, to make choices for my kids to create an environment that they want to be in.
In this post, we will dive into:
- How to protect our homes to create the environment we want for those we love most.
- How too many toys are actually harmful to our kids and to us as moms.
- A strategy to be intentional with toys in our homes.
- The purpose and goal of toys.
- Decluttering tips!
- What to do if someone gets mad about your decluttering.
- We get to create the culture we want in our homes.
BE THE GATEKEEPER
One of the main things that I believe got me into this toy overwhelm was that I was not a good gatekeeper.
I wasn’t the one bringing all the toys into the home. Maybe for you, it’s an in-law, a family member, or a great friend whose kids have stopped playing with the toys.
Things were being given to me faster than I could go through them and I believed that since someone gave them to me, I had to keep them.
WE DECIDE WHAT TAKES UP REAL ESTATE IN OUR HOMES
Our home is such a precious place.
“A wise woman builds her home, but a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands.”
We are wise to build the beauty and the environment of our homes.
WE SET THE TONE OF OUR HOMES
If there is clutter in our homes, it changes the way our homes feel. We know that when someone has a decluttered desk, they are able to get more done. A cleared space makes for a cleared mind. Just like a cluttered space makes for a cluttered mind.
Whether you work in or outside of the home, you do a ton of work inside the home to keep up your home.
Our home is where we are all the time, so it makes sense if we want to get that back.
I want us all to be empowered that there is nothing wrong with taking dominion over our homes.
There is a permissive parenting trend going around that says that since the kids want to have it, they should have it.
I’m not saying take away all of their favorite toys.
I’m talking about the broken toys, the toys they don’t play with anymore, or the toys that they’ve never played with.
Throw away the broken toys.
Rehome the toys they no longer play with.
Put toys away and give them to our kids in rotation.
TOYS CAN BE OVERWHELMING
A lot of toys nowadays are plastic and for one use and are overstimulating. They are not designed to foster creativity.
We have enough stimulation in our lives, so for me, a toy that makes sound and lights up can just push me over the edge so I have tried to remove these entirely.
If a family member gets them a toy like this, I will keep it for a little while until I notice they’re not super interested in it anymore. I will put it in the closet and if they ask about it, I’ll get it back out. But if they don’t ask about it, I will rehome it.
IF THERE’S TOO MANY OPTIONS, THEY DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO
If there are too many toys for them to play with, they may not know what to play with. It might even overestimate them.
IF THERE’S TOO MANY TOYS, IT CREATES CHAOS
When I ask the kids to clean up their toys, if they resist or start crying, that’s a sign for me that there are too many things for them to process cleaning up.
If I had both sets of blocks out at one time, that would make my littles cry when it’s time to clean up. So I keep one in the main space, and one in the bedroom.
The only time that makes sense to have them both out is when we have our morning reading time. As a homeschool mom, I have the kids huddle around in the morning while I read a passage in the Bible and a chapter of a book. I have them grab a toy to keep their hands busy and this is a great time to have both sets of blocks out so two kids can be playing with them in different ways.
SOME THINGS LIVE IN THE CLOSET
I like to keep a closet of toys and crafts that only I have access to.
If the kids have access to all the toys, all the games, all the puzzles, all the crafts, it can get so overwhelming.
Having a space where some specific, intentional toys stay out that they have the autonomy to take out and put away is great. Then other things need to be kept away to minimize chaos and overwhelm.
THE TOYS IN MY HOME
I have a blog post mapping out some of the toys I have never regretted buying that I will link here.
WOODEN BLOCKS
We have two sets of Melissa and Doug blocks. We have one in the main play area and one in my toddlers room for when she has room time.
A DRUM
We have a little drum for them to beat on that they love. I opted for a real drum from the music shop vs. a toy drum because I wanted it to hold up.
MAGNATILE
I love magnatiles.
When I wasn’t looking, half the magnatiles got taken to the bathtub… so those are in the bathtub until they leave our home.
The thing you really need to know about magnatiles is that you need to get a good brand. Some cheap brands will break open and you do not want a kid swallowing a magnet. If it ever looks loose or breaks, it needs to be thrown out right away.
DUPLO BLOCK
These are big legos that are great for the younger kids.
LEGOS
My bigger boys love legos. They are a bit of a mess but I’m okay with it because they are so creative with them and I believe it’s so good for their brains.
TRAIN TRACKS
I rotate these in and out because my kids get tired of them since they’re not as open ended as blocks, magnatiles, or legos.
You can make these more versatile by pairing them with the blocks so they can make whole cities.
THE BEST TOYS OF ALL
The best toys of all are not toys at all.
- My kids LOVE calculators. They love to punch in numbers and pretend like they are cash registers or phones.
- I asked one of my daughters what her favorite toy is and she said a fort made of chairs and blankets.
- They also love to play dress up. So after Halloween, I will go and raid everything that is majorly on sale for my kids to play dress up in throughout the year.
I will keep some dress up outfits put away because keeping all of them out is a lot for them to choose from, but I like to have multiple in case they have friends come over and they all want to play dress up.
MY GOAL FOR TOYS
I want the toys we keep in our home to spark creativity and let them use their brains.
When I started using Peaceful Press Homeschool Curriculum the author Jennifer Pepito shares what toys and tools are most helpful for kid’s development in the Parent Guide.
I highly recommend this program and I go back to the Parent Guide in it each year. You can use the code PEACEFULYEAR for 10% off if you want to try it too.
This program was so educational for me on how to set up a home that kids feel creative in and they love to be in.
My goal for choosing toys is to use toys that foster creativity while minimizing overwhelm.
I WANT THEM OUTSIDE
I want to help my kids be outside as much as possible. So I want to have outside toys.
I have a sprinkler that goes around the trampoline.
We have a mud kitchen where they can cook with their imagination.
They have a playset.
They have a ninja course that they love.
Rollerblades, pickleball set, scooters, bikes.
These things will encourage them to get outside and run their energy out.
The inside toys are more for when it’s time to sit down and be quieter.
DECLUTTERING TIPS
- Keep a bag of things that are going to be donated in the closet.
I like to use a black trash bag so the kids don’t see it and suddenly have to have it. I know that will upset some people, but how else are we going to take control of the clutter?
- I involve my kids.
When the clutter got really bad, I asked my kids for help. I got a trash bag for the things that were broken. Then I got a bin and said they could put their favorite toys in the bin that they wanted to keep. Then, everything else was going to be donated to a little boy or girl who needed it.
- Get rid of the guilt and get rid of the toys your kids don’t play with.
If a family member or your mother in law bought them a toy that always gets left out, is driving you crazy, or they’re not super interested in, it’s okay to get rid of it or store it somewhere like the attic.
- I try not to keep lots of toys in their rooms.
The rooms in our home are pretty small, so when I go in in the evenings and they’re covered in toys, I get very triggered. I prefer to have the common space where they play and we can be together.
I want their rooms to feel peaceful so we can land the plane at night. When their rooms feel calm, they feel less anxiety. When I go into my room and there’s a big pile of laundry, I don’t feel serene, and I think kids feel that too.
WHAT TO DO IF SOMEONE ASKS ABOUT THE TOY THEY GAVE YOU
If the family member who gave you a toy that is put up or given away, it’s okay to be honest.
You can say that it was broken, or that it’s in the attic to be rotated in and out, or that they weren’t playing with it so you gave it away.
If they get upset about that, you may have to have a tough conversation with love and truth about how you can only manage so much and you choose to keep the things the kids really love and that challenges their creativity.
People may get mad, but we cannot please everybody. We only have an audience of One and must choose to do what will please the Lord and He knows that we’re not taking stuff with us.
IF SOMEONE ASKS WHAT WE WANT
This is a great time to be clear on what you want! Let’s not be passive to try to please the person who is asking.
I know this can be tricky because of different family dynamics, but what do I really think my kids would love?
I believe my kids would really enjoy a zoo pass or a children’s museum pass – they love experiences!
But sometimes they still want the kids to open up stuff because it’s kind of about the excitement the giver might feel.
And that’s fine! But it may not stay forever because my home is not a dumping ground. Stuff can stay for a little while, but as soon as it’s triggering for me or for my kids, it has to go.
I HAD TO GET MAD ABOUT IT
I know I sound a little salty.
But I had to get to this place in order to see change! Until we get mad about a situation, we may not really be ready to change it.
For a time, I was passive about it, just managing it all day. Then I started to deal with a lot of mom anger and dysregulation.
I knew that the stuff had to go.
TAKE BACK YOUR HOME
If you came to my house, it is not perfect, there would definitely be stuff on the floor.
But you do not have to be a victim to all the stuff in your home… It’s your home.
You get to create the environment that you want to live in and that others want to be in.
We do not have to be held hostage to the stuff people give us and we have accumulated. We cannot take any of this stuff with us. It is just stuff.
The most important thing in our home is the people in our home and how they feel when they are in it.
WE CAN CREATE A CULTURE FULL OF PEACE AND LOVE WITHIN OUR HOMES
When we can feel good walking into a room and can put it back together in 10 minutes or less, it is much easier to get our kids on board with helping us.
If we feel anxiety over the state of a room, our children are going to feel that as well.
Whatever item is making you feel anxious and guilty, it’s got to be cut loose so that the stuff doesn’t get put above the people.
Helping our kids feel better in our spaces is a gift! One night when I was tucking my daughter in, she said “Thank you for helping me with my room, everything feels so much better”. She could feel the anxiety in her body!
In the midst of minimizing the toys, my kids of course resist me because they may feel attachment to it, even if they don’t actually like it or play with it. But the aftermath is something that they are grateful for.
I HOPE I’VE REMOVED ANY GUILT YOU FEEL
Today, I hope I have helped cut you free from any guilt you might be feeling about wanting to take back your home.
It is okay and it is a good thing for you to take back your home and create the environment that you want for yourself and the people you love most.
RESOURCE:
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