How to Stop Overthinking and Start Living

What does it look like to not give up our peace as a mom? What does it look like to not give weight to every little worry that comes into our minds?

I have my masters in Sports Psychology and I have found a deep passion in pairing the power of the mind with my faith in motherhood. I have learned some simple strategies to stop overthinking and start living.

So much of motherhood requires a strong mental fortitude that must be developed.

But what does this look like?

We can quickly be pulled down a bad mental path when so many worries pop up in our mind. So today I want to share 5 things that I really think can help you bust out of that worried state, to be more present, to be more joyful, to be tuned into the day you are living in, and to no longer be trapped in the cycle of worry.

How to Stop Overthinking and Start Living

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1. HAVE A DAY-TIGHT COMPARTMENT

Where does the worry come from? It either comes from a fixation on the past or a fixation on the future and taking our eyes off of today.

One book that has been helping me in this area is How to Not Worry and Start Living. The author talks about living in a day-tight compartment by not feeling burdened or shamed by the past or by stressing about the future. Instead, he challenges us to live present in the day we are in. We can learn from the past, but we cannot change the past.

The Proverbs 31 woman is said to “laugh at the days to come”. This does not mean that she doesn’t prepare for the future, but she is not worried about the future.

This is how I practically live this out:

When the weight of tomorrow is starting to crowd my mind at night, I say to myself “Each day has enough trouble on its own. God is going to give me new mercies every morning”. And each morning when I wake up, I ask the Lord for my daily bread. I do not ask for a week’s worth of bread, He will sustain me with a daily portion.

If I am worried about tomorrow, I cannot focus on what is important today.

2. REMEMBER THAT EVERYONE IS FIGHTING TO STAY RELEVANT

Everyone online is trying to grab your attention. And if you’re a mom, you have little ones who are also trying to grab your attention. But I don’t want to split my attention between the content that wants me to consume, and my little children who need me.

My greatest problem is my own self-sabotaging, not the government, taxes, conspiracy theories, or any of the things that could happen.

In the book, Contagious, it shares that tactics marketers use to get our attention all hinge on inciting our emotions.

This is why I think conspiracy theories are dangerous; people create rabbit holes and click bait in order to grab and hold our attention because that is how they make their money!

We must be wise in protecting our hearts and the things that we allow into it because out of the heart everything else flows. We have little people who are counting on us.

3. QUIT GIVING OUR TIME AND ATTENTION TO THINGS OUTSIDE OF OUR CONTROL

I like to picture drawing a circle around myself and only focus on controlling within that circle as best as I can. Focusing on what I can control will keep me focused on what I have been called to. If I think through what I actually have the ability to control, I see that I can control a lot more than I am choosing to. I am typically giving up control because I am choosing to give my attention elsewhere.

When I choose to give my attention to the things within my circle of control, my home and my spirit are much more at peace.

praying and reading the bible to stop overthinking

4. WHEN THERE IS A PROBLEM, HANDLE THE PROBLEM

Worry is not actually productive. Worrying is just spinning around a problem instead of tackling it. When there really is a problem, identify the problem and write it down. Simply pulling up the notes app on your phone can do the trick. Then write down what you can practically do about it.

Once you have figured out a real plan of action, instead of spiraling around the problem, you are able to do something about it. This is so empowering!

In hard and dark seasons, you may only be able to “see” 100 yards in front of you before your line of sight is darkened. Instead of getting scared that you can’t see a whole mile down the road, you may need to walk those 100 lit yards in order to see the next lit 100 yards.

We cannot stress over what we do not see or know. We must choose to move forward in faith with what we do know and take action where we can.

5. COLOR YOUR LIFE

Finding things you enjoy and calling all the good into your life can really help push out worry. Things like good music, art, dancing, snuggling with your littles, and going outside are so life giving.

Sometimes we are just getting lost in problem solving and in other people’s opinions. If we instead focus on the good things in life, we can push out worry. But nothing pushes out worry for me as well as gratitude does.

Sometimes when I am worried, all I need to do is sit down with my baby, hug her and read her a book for me to quickly be brought out of the dark headspace and remember how blessed I am.

God says that “My yoke is easy and my burden is light”. Sometimes we are choosing to carry more weight than we were ever meant to. The Lord calls us to let that go and give it to Him because He can handle all our worries.

Woman looking at a flowered tree with her kids

I promise, living in day-tight compartments, finding things you are grateful for and excited about, and coloring your life, can help you stop worrying and start living the life you want to live. These are things that I have been implementing in my life, and I hope they can help you too.

I hope that you will choose to apply even just one thing from this list. Let me know down in the comments what one thing you are going to do to click out of worry and tune into being the mom you want to be.

SNAG A RESOURCE

One bonus way to relieve anxiety is to spend more time in the Word. Here is a free resource to help you journal through the book of John!